Back to Facebook!

Against my decision of last December to quit facebook for good, I have chosen to come back. But not with the same intent. While I stand by all that I had mentioned in my 'Ta-ta Facebook' article about how facebook is and the people who dwell in it, I have decided to make a come-back again, but on a different note.

It had been 7 long months. I had lost touch with so many of my friends. Not everyone would call. Neither can I call everyone. Some are near. Some far. And some very far, overseas.

I open my account and see some have left for gulf and elsewhere, some are engaged and some married too. Some are now in Bangalore for months and I haven't met them yet. No updates at all. Not even from the ones I have been in touch over phone. I could have gone ahead valuing my decision more, losing them all. But you see, these are your friends and you need them.

So I decided - Let me come back. But not get involved in any godless chatter be it any discussion or even the topics I would love to debate on. Let me be back, for friends who have been my life all this while. Let me come back, not to prove anything to others or to see what others do in their private but to be in touch, give some likes and ping a few smiley's.

Aggravated Pimping

While the 2011 sex-scandal surrounding him is still in the courts, the Ex IMF Chief Mr. Strauss-Kahn is now charged with 'aggravated pimping'. This is quite a phrase! Investigations reveal that this gentleman had also been participating in a prostitution ring at luxury hotels at Lille, France.

Two years back, before all these scandals came to light, he clearly was one of the greatest minds, most revered, for the way he steered the nations out of the recession that struck the world in 2008. He was the most sought-after economist, a flamboyant lawyer, and the ex-Finance Minister of France under Prime Minister Lionel Jospin.

 Mr. Strauss-Khan also had connections with 'Manhattan Madam' Kristin Davis and her escort agency Emperor's Club VIP

It is sad to know that this great man had such an inflicting thorn in his flesh - lust. Even in his 60s, he was consumed by his lust for women. He trod cheerfully on this path without any shame of being found one day, that he went on to be actively involved in sex-trafficking. What must have he thought? - I have power and I can buy anyone in this world. But the world proved him wrong. We humans are empowered folks now.

But what really shocked me was the statement made by Mr. Strauss-Khan's lawyer Frederique Baulie two days back. He came out to the media and blurted out - " We should be focused on the law, not morality ! "

What crap was that? What is law if it does not assimilate the moral codes!!

My dear Mr. Lawyer, would you divorce your wife and marry your consenting adult daughter in an incest-friendly nation? Perfectly legal, ain't it? I'm sure you'd be getting all excited now. But tell me - if your daughter conceives by you, how would you like the baby call you -- Daddy or Grand-daddy???

It is saddening to know that people in power and those who aide them are becoming so insensitive these days. It hurts. Yes, it hurts us all. Tomorrow, the victim could be you or someone from your family. Justice has to be meted out to everyone equally.

Nafissatou Diallo, the 32-year old maid who was sexually assaulted by Mr. Srauss-Khan at MidTown Sofitel Manhattan Hotel in May 2011 :

" Me and my family, we are going through a lot. We cry every day. My 15-year old daughter had seen me crying recently. She said: ‘Please stop crying. Be strong for me.' I told her, ‘I will be strong for you and for every other woman in the world.'  "

Bald! Hell Yeah!!

                            

I am bald. Gleefully yes. But I am bereft of any shame or embarrassment. 'Cause that is the way I look. Why should I belittle my very own personality and feel inferior to others. I am a confident man.

Four years back, this was not the case. I had good hair. Then this hair loss began. I couldn't do anything about it. I have, at times, sulked at all the hair I used to lose. Started going for trichology treatments and have spent nearly a lakh on my hair till now. Did it help? Not one percent. If I have to tell you the truth, it only worsened things. Okay, I am not going to the 'worsened' part.

May be this is the way I am destined to look. If God decides something, can you contest it? My good friend Joshua used to encourage me saying, "Machan, in Australia bald men are considered sexy! So dont worry!! You'll get an Australian wife!!!". I used to laugh at this. Two days back, Audharsh pings me in whatsapp, "Being bald is the new trend. Mike Tyson is bald, Zidane is bald, Agassi is bald. Now Isaac is so!!" What can I do much about such positive remarks at my loss! People want to appreciate me and I say thanks. Haha. : ) Tyson had Robin Givens, Monica Turner and Lakiha Spicer for wives. Zidane married Veronique Fernandez and Agassi - Brooke Shields and Steffi Graff. All beautiful women! :D

Those days when it all started - the heavy hair-loss, I was definitely not worrying about women. It was only my depleting looks that bothered me. While I had just enough time to worry about myself, why would I think about girls who themselves would generally grow plump within months of marriage. Now I have gathered all the courage to cope with this. I might look 5 years (or more) older to my real age. What's the big deal? Some would laugh at me and crack some jokes. So what? I would take all the fun and whistle at them. Haha. :)

Yes, I am bald. And happily bald. :)

I am not the one I used to be!

'Change is the only thing that doesn't change' is an old cliched adage. We change. Our thoughts change. Things we fought for, change. The strongest of love stories change. Oh with time, everything changes. I often wonder how God and his love could remain unchangeable. The only logic I could arrive at is that the divine is not bound by the strongest constraint - 'time'. Clearly, time is the ever-dynamic change agent.

As I sit down to introspect, I should admit, in the past few years, I have dropped few things - both good and bad, and picked up few things - yeah, good and bad. I have changed. This is a confession I make. 

So a few years back, I was a solid staunch christian. I was very firm. My world revolved around the Holy Bible. I wouldn't know anything outside the holy book. Nay, that's an understatement. It would be near-right if I stated - I wouldn't give a damn about the world-around at all. My friends would testify to this. I wouldn't watch any movie. For four continuous undergrad years, I did not even see a single animated movie clip, let alone feature films that cast real humans. A strong personal NO to movies, both secular and christian. I wouldn't listen to any music which is not gospel. I wouldn't look at any girl and secretly/openly stare at her. I was not glued to books that were not religious. I wouldn't be a part of alcoholic parties. About alcoholism, the truth is most of my friends were teetotalers and the ones who drank were very careful that they did not drink in my presence.

But now, all these 'did not do's have become 'do's. That said, I am not saying that I blindly watch any movie or listen to any music that releases. I am very choosy about them. I have some criteria (guarding my values) to pick my collection. And though I don't host any alcoholic party, I have been to pubs/bars and to one disc with my colleagues. I have been to alcoholic house parties and have seen what happens in all those places. Though I still am a teetotaler, I know every drug people of free-minded urban sophistication do.

I used to be a preacher. Now, no one around me would ever believe that I have preached at all. Because the frequency of sharing God's word, now, has bluntly reduced. The last time I spoke in a church meeting was last November. I used to read a lot of Bible and spend a lot of time in prayer. Every day I would not retire to bed without talking to my Creator. Before every sermon I spoke, I would spend at least 4 to 5 hours in prayer. No overstatement this! My parents know this very well and a few of my friends at times would join me during those prep prayer hours. But now, the same zeal has reduced. With all the work, I am not able to set forth solid time to spend with God. Well, I cannot get away by blaming this on work. This is so lame an explanation. Its all my mistake. I have not set my priorities right.

The most painful thing. When I was that staunch Christian guy before, people used to call me a madman, a lunatic, a fundamentalist and all those names. As a person, now I am better. I understand how things are in the other side of life. Some say, I am more human(read as more like them!) these days. But it was during those madman days, I saw beautiful visions from God. I prophesied. I used to feel God's strong presence. I used to hear the sweet guiding Voice of God frequently. I was a fruitful vessel, a signboard to salvation for sinners who sought the Lord. But now, I am in a pathetic spiritual low. Somewhere I made a few compromises and I have lost it all. Yes I weep in secret at how things have changed. I even doubt, at times, if I would go to heaven at all. I am not telling you that having a balanced view of the world is wrong. No no, please don't get me wrong. It is really good if you can still hold on to your values despite your getting exposed to both the good and the bad. But what is all that balance worth if you lose touch with God? What is it all worth if someone says 'you're more human now' after you have lost the divine? The mistake is mine. I should have known to put God first in everything. I should have known. The mistake is all mine.

"Do not gloat over me, my enemy(the devil)! Though I have fallen, I will rise!"
Micah 7:8

Those Awkward Moments

Everyone goes through awkward situations at some point or other. But when we look back and reminisce, we can only smile at our own follies. All our imperfections add beauty to life.

Perambur Railway Station.

I boarded a suburban train from Chennai Central after seeing off my friend Santy who had come home for vacation. I don't know why, but I instantly turned like an electron in its excited state after taking that yellow suburb ticket. I think this sort of thing happens to everyone at some nutty point. Or may be I saw some good-looking girl. Oh no, don't get me wrong. I am just speculating. I really don't remember why I did that. Okay what did I do? I jumped off the running train and fell on the platform bleeding. The one who sways flags standing in the last bogie of the train, oh-I-dont-know-how-he-should-be-called, he shouted abuses at me. Well, I remember that part loud and clear. Haha. But to his mocking dismay, I stood up as if nothing had happened and limped my way to home.

Lesson: Dont try to act like Superman!

IPA Pollachi.

Prof. Amir Anton wanted me and my friend Prakash to come with him to Pollachi for a Sunday Service. Amir Sir would preach and we both would lead the worship. That was the plan. Everything went accordingly. What was not in the plan was people coming to us and asking us to pray for them. I usually hesitate to do this at will because I need a lot of time to pray and prepare before I lay hands on anyone. I was stumped this time. Adding to my worry, Prakash doesn't know to pray in Tamil. I had to take all the prayer requests. People were swarming around us. What could I do! I tied my hands to my back, did not touch anyone but started praying request after request. Thankfully Prakash stood by my side. One lady came and said, 'Brother, I have stomach ache. Please pray for me.' And I started at once, 'Lord, this precious sister has stomach ache... Please heal her... Amen.' And I went on to pray for others. Right after praying for all the other requests, Prakash comes and tells me, 'Dei. You made a mistake while praying!'. 'Aiyo, What?', I asked. 'When women come and tell you they have stomach problem, it means something else and you are not supposed to mention 'stomach problem' when you pray. Others might hear this and laugh at the girl.', Prakash affirmed. This really embarrassed me more.

Lesson: Decode what people really want you to pray for and pray 'appropriately'

Undisclosed Location.

There was this girl I know very well. I respect her, but honestly have not the slightest pinch of any feeling peeling for her. She was sitting quite close and I could clearly see her bra-strap out. I wanted to somehow convey this to her. Because that was bad for her, plus I have this condition - I cannot see a girl and talk when I know she is not dressed prop. I was thinking this and sharply she turns to me. Oh no, how shameful! She might have thought I was staring at her. I, at once, left the place and came back after 30 minutes. And on my return, I did not dare look at her. But I observed everything looked alright. At least the purpose was solved.

Lesson: Don't even think of correcting a girl's dress if she's not your love

I have been through many more flop-shows. But this would suffice for now. Laugh at me for a little while. Haha.

Workplace Tidbits

There are so many things that could disturb you at work. For no reason, you might be put down. People would willingly gang up against you. Though you might do your work right, people would say that you have done it all wrong and laugh at you. Automatically, your mind would be pushed to feel the heat and the first thing you would want to do is to retort.

No. Hold fort. Don't act at once. Think for a while. But don't give the enemy room to breach your tabernacle. It is always tough for all of us in these terse situations. Wherever we go, there are people to sting us with sharp words and frivolous accusations. 

Condescension is provocation worthy of retaliation. But before you react impulsively, think. There was a mentor I had at workplace who shared a wonderful piece of advice, "Isaac, think big. Get above the others." I will respect him for these words all my life. The first mantra to progressive thinking is to get above all the mundane pessimistic situations. It would do well if you could cut yourself off from people who worry much about trivial things.

One of my best buddies at work used to tell, "People, WORK!!! Stop fooling around with your ill-fed egos!! We're here to work!" Ego clashes are bound to happen everywhere you go. Politics has become much of an inevitability. You have to go through all these, no matter what. But when you do, don't allow all these to get into your nerves. Because these are things that would divert you from living your purpose.

'DGAD' - I had this written on my board and people couldn't understand what it meant. DGAD??.. Don't Give A Damn!!! If you wish not to entertain non-value added people, you should learn to apply dgad. Whatever may happen around you, don't bother at all. Get your focus right! Stop wasting your time talking about others. Spend more time discussing what you have intended to do to achieve your goals. Brainstorm with reasonable people on reasonable matters. I don't mean that you should quit having  lighter moments altogether. It is no harm to have a few friends. Build your bandwagon of like-minded people. But never associate yourself with anyone. Form your own persona.

These are just tidbits. Try to follow this, if it is applicable to the situation you are in. Despite all this, if you still face problems, no other go. You have to bend your knees. Pray. There is no problem too big, God cannot solve. There is no mountain too tall, He cannot move.

The Embrace

It's been so long since anyone embraced me, sulked the girl and broke into instant tears. She had been hugged multiple times by multiple men and women, but no, she had never really felt any warmth in any of that. Her body had broken into sensuous tickles at times, but no, not that touch that would mean, I will always be with you. She is what anyone with a middle class morality would rate - slut, what the rich would say - classy, and what the minds of both the liberals and the conservatives would call in unison - sexy!

Yes, she isn't the virgin, the non-virgins would dream of marrying. She isn't the one who anyone would miss a chance to make a pass at. She smiles, yet she cries. She talks, and is still silent. She dreams, but in vain. She's judged from every angle of flawed perception. Yet, she wouldn't know any of it, or pretends not to know what others would think of her. Doubly yes, she is vulnerable by all means.

How rude! Men who do not have the guts to even talk to her, imagine lewd things about her in the privacy of their wicked minds, but act just the opposite way putting on a fake holy outward gesture to openly tarnish her image. That doesn't mean men who talk to her are real saintly! The logic doesn't work one bit that way! The girl is always put in the awkward 'Head-I-win;Tail-You-Lose' position. Who is really promiscuous? The girl or the minds of these men?? What is done within four walls and in the absence of others is not wrong at all, they believe! A day will soon come when all these sick low-lives will wail for all the wrongs they did covertly and all the people they wronged overtly!

Coming back to the she. If you really have the b*lls to count yourself a man, I pose this challenge to you. Instead of quickly judging her or instead of using the opportunity to make the most out of her vulnerability, why wouldn't you show her some love!! Dont get me wrong. By love, I do not mean falling in love. Because it is not for the tight pressing hugs and a few long kisses on her lips and down, she yearns!!! She longs for a genuine embrace. I am not saying you should carry a I-am-a-good-boy pretence and go on a hugging spree with the several women your near-society has portrayed in bad light and call what you do 'Embrace'. I-am-a-good-boy hug!!! - No No No, it is not possible at all - you know it, i know it, the world knows it; that's biology. Let your embrace be found with no blemish. Be assertive to her, appreciate the good in her and encourage her efforts to overcome her mistakes. That would be the best embrace you can think of giving anyone. She needs love and just that.

Brisk, Witty, Classy

It is simple things in life, if missed, would make such a big negative difference. In the end, what we did wouldn't matter, but what we did not would. Imagine a thrilling cricket match which ends in the final ball, the losers would sulk over a silly misfield. Well, I do not want you be a loser at all. You are a winner. Yes, an emphatic one at that!

 So, last week I happened to meet a guy whose soul was consumed by eternal slumber. His eyes would droop all the time, be it night or day. People started to tease him - 'Kumbakarna!! Kumbakarna!!!' But he would proudly pat himself and say, 'Dude, lions are notoriously lazy and I am a lion.'. Way to go!!! Oops. No No.. Definitely not the way to go!!! Being a little agile won't do any harm. You can go for a morning walk or jog, twist your limbs some angle, sweat a little and that would do wonders.

There was this girl who wouldn't smile at all. Oh dear, Bombay Stock Exchange wont downtrend a 1000 points if you smile. Whatever jokes we crack, she would keep mum. Man, if you ever dare to  tease her, you are dead. She would instantly turn into Samara Morgan from the movie, The Ring. Gosh, would anyone like the idea of a live action horror flick? No way, I would be the first one to freak out. Lol. :D But my dear loose-pot, smiling is actually a nice thing. Please go check your mirror; look at your own face glow a million watts when you smile. You would give up the very idea of carrying a bad countenance for good. And one more tidbit, try cracking some jokes. But no PJs please.

And I have a friend who wouldn't mind wearing paragon slippers for his final job interview. He is least bothered about his dressing. Wrinkles and only wrinkles every direction you turn him. Hmm.. I thought, wrinkles would still be fine, because that has become trend these days. But this jackass wouldn't wash his clothes even. Would he mind spraying some perfume to cover the stink? No way!!! That's his style. Being clean is very important to your body, soul and mind. Don't hesitate to take atleast two showers a day. Wash and then wear! While you must abstain from overdressing, there's nothing wrong in dressing well and remaining classy. Carry the superhero charm!

You might not have the cutest of faces, you might be dark, you might not be so tall. Your looks are not in your hands! You would look dashing if your mom and dad are good looking. Chuck that logic; however you may look, you can still present yourself exceedingly well in an amiable way. These are simple things. A few minutes of effort. And it would put you on top.

Be brisk. Be witty. Be classy.You are the best!

God is pissed off!

Look around and see what's happening! There is only hatred, envy, backstabbing, name calling, war, murder, rape, immorality everywhere. Some people believe in God and some don't. They say there are scientific proofs emerging for supernatural God-intervened miracles to have taken place in the past. But do you even remotely remember of any one miracle your eyes have seen which would stand at one percent par(atleast) with all those great things that are said to have happened. Some people tend to feel all that is written in the Scriptures is false, name the attitude they carry - being practical and not being superstitious - and completely disregard God. Does it help? Not one inch. It only throws them back into to the spiral of the dark pleasures of the world, now without any feeling of guilt.

Okay, why are there no evident miracles these days? When you go to a healing crusade, some godmen call names and pronounce healing, other godmen pray with authority and yeah, you may even see some people walk up to the stage and testify their healing right away. But one annoying question keeps striking your mind - is that really true? Yes, I agree to your inquisition. If all that that happens inside an auditorium or a under a tent is true, why is there no record of the same gift of healing working when the same godmen walk through the streets. Didn't Apostle Peter heal that crippled beggar on his way to the Temple?

The miracles we read from the Scriptures are totally different from the ones we see today. This induces people to question their very authenticity. But one thing is sure. We dont see any evident God intervention and manifestation these days because - God is pissed off with all of us! Dont blame God because you cannot see any authenticity in the Scriptures! Blame your religion, blame your church, blame your miracle-workers! Ow Ow Ow. Wait. Why do you want to point fingers at others? Blame yourself!!! You are the reason God is pissed off! Your view of God and the world starts with your self! You are to be blamed for all the wrongs you claim you see and the judgements you pass!

God has seen enough of all of us, humans, and, is pissed off big time! Imagine you piss off a dog in  your street! Try pulling its tail or simply throw a small stone at it! Oh no, you wouldn't dare invite trouble doing anything as stupid as that! Because you know that it would definitely pounce on you ferociously and have a taste of your flesh!! If you can have that much of respect for a dog, why dont you even care to have the slightest of respects for God!!! Who do you think God is!!! Do you think He is some low life dirtier than a street dog!!! Take heed, you fool!!! Stop deceiving yourself!!!

We never show love! When a beggar comes to us, we turn our faces. When someone is lying on the road hurt, we wouldn't stop to call an ambulance. We are so selfish. If it is for our friends, we would do anything. But a strong NO to that poor starving woman we cross every day we walk down the road. Because she's not going to talk about our so-called great helpful character to everyone she sees, but our friends would definitely praise us for long. If it is for booze or food at an expensive cuisine or shopping, we wouldn't mind spending in thousands!! But how much do we care about the hungry living on the scrap we throw from our dustbins!!! We like to own everything, keep even things that belong to others to ourselves. One day we mistakenly see the upper contours of a lady's breast and we quickly judge her to be a total slut as if we are the most saintly of creatures! And what do we do when we are alone in secret - go to that porn site we have frequented ourselves with, fill our cup with truck loads of mundane lust and attain a momentary bust of our irksome stress!! We all lie so fluently to put down people whom we don't like and to lift our very image up. We hide our pitfalls and easily point fingers at others. We play political games. We wear multiple masks. We try to steal other's credits. Despite all this, we still think greatly of ourselves. We are all narcissists of the highest order, but we never accept any of this with openness though we clearly know who we are deep within!!

Doom to all of us!!! No wonder you are not able to see God in your life!!! You have mocked His very grace that keeps you alive!!! Mind you, you are so damn dead!!! If you don't turn from your willfull wrongdoings and your craze for vanity, you may even die a terrible death and the same street dogs you regard well above God would come and lick your drying blood!!! And flies would swarm around your dead body and whizzz praises for you!!!

Don't panic. It is still not too late. Introspect. Correct yourselves. Do good. Love others without measure. And God will love you dearly.

Whoremonger-folks!

If you pride yourself by telling that you are a liberal and look down on everyone else, you should feel the hurt and your bowels should burn as if a vial of lava fresh from a volcanic eruption is poured onto it. This is for you. People who are loving and kind-hearted, please refrain from reading this.

I am a liberal
Not liberal enough to fornicate
I am conservative
Not conservative enough to carry hatred
I am everything
I am the good and the bad
I am sweet and at times, yes, harsh
But I am modestly right and not wrong
For I am love!!

The poetic lines that you see above are penned by me. What our world lacks is love! In the morning, I walk to office and on the way, I see a labour woman walking out from a construction site crying her heart out. A less-than-3-year-old small kid runs after her with tears, calling out, 'maa, amma'. Reason. The Asst. Construction Engineer sends her home because she was not able to lift the heavy load of hollow blocks on her head. One day's wage lost. And she's crying. May be she wouldn't be having anything at home to feed herself and her kids. What a cruel world we live in!

Back to where I want this to head!

There is consensus building among the urban hippies that they are the most coolest specimens in the world. They call themselves liberals because they do not feel even a pinch of shame when they undress in front of a stranger or a long known/shortly known friend - and pull and play with each other's pubic hair. Live-in is trending in the metros. No commitments, only sex. Hot and raw. Of course, not without a condom.

Oh yeah, these are liberals. Men have no issues punching into other men and women would not feel shy to lick other ladies. Metro life baby. The Butterfly Generation, a recently published book that I read is another fresh piece of shit which has to be flushed down the latrine commode. The out-of-his-mind author tries to capture the technicolour of the Indian youth, but only venerates the way they sleep and swap partners like animals on the roads do.

'You are not man enough if you don't drink this!', a woman challenged a guy who was teetotaller till that moment. It was a woman who challenged him. Oh yeah, if its a woman, its your penis that makes your decision and not your mind. The guy gulped the whole thing in one shot! Yay!! Yay!!!, shouted and shashayed everyone. Dear till-the-moment-teetotaller, if a woman challenges your manhood, jizz your liquid into her vaginal peg and tell her hence proved. Dont just cheaply gulp that dizzy liquid from the glass peg she hands you and jizz yourself off!

There are principles you follow. And there are principles others follow. Your mom may sleep with your uncle and that may be uber-cool with you and your generous dad, because you are a liberal. That is not the case in other households. If you boast about your whoremonger mentality calling it being liberal, I will strip your honour down with mere words. I will have no regrets, because you deserve one.

Whoever you are, whatever culture you grew up in, keep it to yourself or cherish it and even speak about it. But dont you dare look down upon others. The world has known two kinds of people - the liberals and the conservatives. There are two more - the liberally conservatives and the conservatively liberals. The liberally conservative category brags about its liberal orgies and expects everyone to follow what they do. The conservatively liberals are conservative, yet accommodate others without passing judgements.

If you start loving others, you will start respecting them. And if you respect them, you wouldn't even think of disturbing their peace. Think of the woman from the construction site. Life should punish haughty ones like you and not the meek. Spend one day there under the hot sun carrying loads of weight on your head. Your liberally conservative theories will evaporate from your clay-wet brain, I bet on your life. Live and let live.

Its not impossible!

Boeing Boeing

A breezy Bangalore evening at Alliance Francaise. The very first theatre play I attend. Boeing Boeing. Thanks to the original playwright Marc Camoletti who created it. The play was crisp, humorous and ended on a sweet note. The mindset of a metro youth towards love and marriage well captured, and the subsequent complications that follow.

There was Bernard, the lead character who  gets engaged to three women - an American, a German and an Italian - all Air-hostesses, their names starting with G. Bernard maintains a strict mathematical arrangement so that not one of the women would know the truth about the other two. The plot gets intense when all three are at Bernard's house at the same time. Robert, Bernard's friend, and Martha, Bernard's maid steal the show with their timely wits.

In a scene, Gloria Hawkins the American gets attracted to Robert's lips when he says 'Its not impossible'. She gets all excited, says his lips look like a flower when he says 'Its not impossible' and asks him to repeat the line over and over again. Then they get into a technical kissing spree which stops only when Bernard arrives.

Well, after the play, I had the opportunity to meet the cast. You know why? We were special guys. Because the one who took all of us to the play is the real girlfriend of the one who played Bernard. I wish her all the luck that its not impossible for her to be the only girlfriend of his and not counted as one of the three or four. Lol. :D Okay, back to where I left. So we met the one who played Robert. He told us, 'This is my first stage appearance'. Everyone started wowing. He was very good, the way he moved on the stage, the timing, the accent and the gestures, except for some minute delivery errors. But for a first-timer, I would say he has done his very best!!!

It actually is not impossible!!!

Lent: the perfect 40-day diet plan!!!

A round table. Heated discussion. Three characters. A terminal smoker, a bisexual drug addict and a pro-rape activist. The thread that connects them all - alcohol and meat!!! Woah woah. Guys who usually linger in drunken state got some religion finally. Lent, baby, lent!!!

All three, Christians. So you can expect some religion from them. Because they have to mark their attendance in their respective churches once in a week or two. No no, not that they love to seek God. This, they do for two reasons - marriage and funeral. Hell yeah! - these are the primary reasons why many still go to church.

The smoker and the bisexual had most of the problems. They consider themselves one step above the pro-rape activist in the liberal echelon and so feel they have to sacrifice more. To a liberal, whatever he does is right. But now, there is a problem. Jesus, according to the stories they have heard from their grandparents, is not a liberal like them. And these three have to follow Jesus for a few days because of religious compulsions. So they plan to quit smoke, drugs, alcohol and meat for 40 full days. Why? Because the bisexual brought up something that sounded very fascinating - 'Dude, someone once told me that if you follow lent by not taking smoke, alcohol and non-veg till Good Friday, God will forgive all our sins.'

'Really!!!', chimed the other two in awe and total belief.

'Hahahaha!!!', I laugh out loud.

What is the use of lent, if you follow all that you say you follow for 40 days and assume your sins are forgiven, and then come back to your old state? Are you trying to fool yourself? Isn't lent followed in prayer, repentance and sanctification? Then why is emphasis only on how you are going to control your frivolous eating habit, which is of least useful to your spiritual life? Do you think God is more interested in the calorie content that goes in your belly?

Dont follow anything because the majority say they follow it. No. Reason within yourself. If you want to seek God, stop pleasing people and your lustful self. God and the pleasures of the world are two different things - like life and death. You cannot choose both. Settle for the one that will give you peace. You are your own church. Pray that God should dwell in you.

The Cow Speech

Everybody had gathered unusually long before time. All Indians. Oh no. That must be a wrong word. All 'Bharathiya citijans'. The ones in traditional wears, the ones so conservatively minded, the ones with thick large round bhindies on their foreheads, the ones with their white dhotties and scary moustaches,   the ones who believe zombies exist. Everyone, not one missing. All had gathered to witness this supernatural phenomenon.

Well, well, well. What was that? A cow gives its first ever Bharathiya Commemoration Speech. Oh yeah, the holy cow that could speak. People were throbbing to the arena. Tickets were completely sold out before three weeks. This was so huge, carried more magnitude than the IPL matches here. The acoustics-team had to come on stage and spend some time to position the microphone. Logical. A four legged creature cannot hold a mic and speak. Everything was set, the time came. Everybody clapped. Clapped. Clapped. And the cow took the stage by fire.

"Dear Men and Women, I am a cow. The holy cow that you venerate and worship in all your temples. I feed you all with good milk. My dung is used as manure and is regarded by the Bhakt birgade to be costlier than kohinoor diamond. My urine, people consider, has the power to purify their souls. I have had such an impact in you all. I am god in your minds. Hell yes, I am!

A few things I want to say that would make complete sense. You can take this as my confession or consider this blasphemy. I don't mind. I don't yearn for the frivolous god status you give me. I never asked for any such thing in the first place. It was you who garlanded me. Took me processions round and round and I am here - god speaking to you.

I am female. I walk nude in the streets. You have all been seeing my mammary glands hanging down there. Gosh, you have even dared to squeeze me there everyday with your bare hands and milk me. That is so bad you know. You don't respect me. First, learn to respect me. I am your god after all. Stitch some good clothes for me. Cover my nudity and then call me god.

Okay, the confession part. I am not a virgin and I am not at all chaste. The whole world knows this. So many times, I had lifted my tail up and had allowed so many bulls to penetrate me. No - they were not my husbands. No no no. I don't follow moral policies. Any random bull could put his male organ inside me. I have never had issues with regards to this. I will moan 'Maaaaa' and take it all in full length. Oh yeah, I am a pervert. But honestly, think for a moment. If I were not a pervert, how would I satisfy your superficial need to extract milk from me every single day.

But this thing, I dont like. You call such a pervert as me - HOLY. And look at your women. They are angels. They don't live such a rubbish life like I do. They dress up. Okay, you may have problems there. Hey, they atleast cover the important parts that ought to be covered. What more do you want? Look at me, your favourite god, for comparison study. But you call me holy AND THEM, YOU CALL SLUTS. This is just not right. Change your mind. Respect your women. They are holier than me.

All women are holier than the cows!!!"

Silence kills all and finally comes after your life!

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

- Abraham Lincoln

If you had told me being silent is very powerful four years back, I would have called you a liar and painted you as a weak and sheepish character. I had this Che Guevara-ness in my marrows. My spirit would fight and take anyone down. That was me, then. But now, no, things are very different with me. I have become silent - yes! But I have also learnt how to use it with wise.

If you face serious issues, people warring against you and evil being devised to tarnish you - don't fret, don't even feel a tinge of pressure, don't take anything, don't vent out. The best way to tackle problems is to remain silent. When you are silent, it is very difficult for people to read you. When it becomes difficult for people to read you, you are powerful. Yes, people will misinterpret you, misquote you, develop wrong perceptions about you, spread rumours, conspire against you and may even do the nastiest of things to bring you down. But you should keep this in mind. All that they do is only to provoke you, make you speak and spill your mind. The Holy Bible says - A fool uttereth all his mind!. So no, don't give in there. Don't lose your tough. Keep your line and length tight. We are now a free nation because a man called Mahatma who led the independence movement was silent and non violent.

Like there is always a flip-side to the coin, silence also has its darker shades. Adam Lanza who killed 26 people in Connecticut last December was silent all the time, too. This 20 year old killed everyone and finally pulled the trigger pointing to his temple. Silence kills all and finally comes after your life! Ajmal Kasab did not utter a word when he made his final walk with his hangman. Research says that a major chunk of those who commit suicide showcase reclusive behaviour.

Silence is powerful but also dangerous. Powerful - in helping you establish yourself, focus better, form a tough persona, and destroy all the wrongful things people rant about you. Dangerous - in making you a reclusive, an anti-social and appear reluctant and complacent. So what do I recommend? While you should continue to embrace silence, you should also take breaks at regular intervals - not to prove a point to others but to prove to yourself that you are not on the dangerous side of things. 

So what can you do? To whom can you talk? There is always a handful people whom you can trust. Your Mum. Your Dad. A closest friend who is understanding and wise. You should open up to them at times and talk about life at large - the good, the bad and the ugly. You can always carry a smile wherever you go. That will help you ease and add more vigour to your silence. And yea, the best thing - seclude yourself from everyone, go alone, meet the needy, and do some social work. Refrain from the inner urge of wanting to be known for the good you do. Helping somebody in secret will definitely make you feel good and keep you on the right track.

Appa Amma

A couple that prays together stays together!

- Jim Cymbala

Mum and Dad. Happily married for more than 25 years. It would be clear exaggeration to call them the perfect couple. Because there is no such thing as 'perfect' except God. Nonetheless, I am definitive in saying, they are one of the most beautiful couples. Because only through imperfections, understanding each other well and forgiving, can beauty become rich in bearing. When beauty comes out colourful, we call it love. Like a bar of gold tested and purified by fire, time tests and proves love.

This quadranscentennial love saga was triggered by the divine and ever since this tale is on an eternal hip hop roll. There is only joy and much joy. The story started with my now-85-year-old Grandma. After her first daughter's arranged marriage failed, my Paati who was already widowed made it a point to depend only on God concerning the marriage of her second daughter. So she prayed all the time. One fine day, Paati had a vision from the Lord and God revealed the face of my dad.

The Pastors brought lot of connections as part of groom-search for my Mum who was amazingly beautiful in her 20s. But Paati said NO to all the photos shown until one day she identified the face that was revealed to her in a group photograph a Pastor brought. That face belonged to my Father. Arrangements were made and my Mum and Dad became Man and Wife on June 4, 1987. How beautiful is it to know from God that this woman/man is destined to be your wife/husband!

In all these years, I have not one memory of Amma and Appa fighting or arguing over a subject. I wouldn't say there was no occasion for not-so-pleasant things to have happened. Every family has its highs and lows. But when we go through those phases, how do we handle things? In highs, do we over-joy or feel unsatisfied? Or in lows, do we over-sorrow and blame?

Though Amma and Appa do not think alike all the time, they have never been self-centred. When you are so consumed by your own self, you will have ego, envy and anger against every person without reason. My parents sweetly and blindly follow one simple thing that awes me to date - 'I am living, not for me, but for you'. They have this high realization one toward the other. Only when a person stops living for himself/herself and starts living for the other, can he/she live a blessed and holy life.

Some psychologists say - too much love will lead to untoward complications in marriage. I am baffled how this premise never had the slightest of effects in my parents' marriage. I would boldly say - show love to your spouse without measure and with no reservation. Because love becomes full, only when you empty yourself into your spouse. Give her/him all the love in the world. Appa and Amma are both in their 50s now. Would you believe, at this age, they leave me and my brother back, and go for tours alone like just married couples would do? This is unheard of. I call this - honeymooning at fifty.

Always true to you darling in my fashion!

To my Princess,

My dear Sweetheart, I do not know you. My imaginary buds have, at times, tried to visualize how you might look. Yes I confess. When night falls, while on my bed, yes, I have thought about you. So many nights, I have laid my thoughts to sleep on your comforting bosom. You do not even remotely resemble any of the women I have seen. Yes, you are unique and the most beautiful of all. Our bond is special. When I shall meet you, you would find how I had known you all my life.

When God first created Adam, Eve was within him. I dreamt a lovely dream lately - I was your Adam, you were my Eve and we lived in the garden of Eden. How true of it! Yes, you dwell within me. I know it and doubly yes, I could feel you in my heart. After all, you are my missing rib bone. When you shall be united  with me, there shall be eternal bliss. We shall be one body. You shall be mine and I shall be yours.

I have gone through turbulent times. Yes, I passed my troubled teens with much pain. The trouble persisted through my early 20s as well. I did err at times. But have never gone behind anyone but you. I might have tried so many stupid things but believe me, dear, I have never been in love with any other. The world, as you know, has always been enticing. But 'NO!', I said to all its attractions and infatuations because I know in my spirit that we are long intertwined by destiny even before the foundations of this world.

Yes, I have had crushes at various stages of my life. But for you, dear, I did crush them all. Not one thought sprouted in my mind which said - 'You should convert this crush! You should try out this girl!' I was in total control. I live with a realization that I am already your man. How can I even think of doing something stupid like that! In all sincerity, I have always been faithful to you.

I do not know anything about you - where you live, how you really look, what kind of dresses you'd like to wear, what dishes you'd love to eat, your education, your parents and friends,... No, nothing at all. Some friends here have tried to put fear in my heart saying - nowadays girls are not chaste enough!- and all those dark things people mistakenly speak. But I do not worry. I do not want to know anything. Wherever you are, I want only you. Because I am deeply and madly in love with you.

There is a big fat book called The Holy Bible that helped me find God. I read it every day. It starts with a story of marriage and ends with another story of marriage. How sweet! Even in the eyes of God, the union of man and woman is sacred. Marriages are rightly made in heaven. 

Right now, I have a strong feeling that you long to see me. Don't worry dear. You shall not tarry more. I shall soon find you and would take you home with me. And our story would end - And they lived happily ever after...

Written by,
A frog Prince waiting for that one kiss from the Princess

You are free to show, I am free to stare!

Recently I happened to overhear a conversation in a mall. The girl said to the guy, potentially her boyfriend, pointing to a direction saying the guys standing there are staring at her. Well, the details of her dressing - she was wearing a mini skirt covering only her butt crack in the back and the vaginal area in the front. She was a tall girl and her thighs were treating many desirous eyes. The top she was on was tight and short exposing her navel which was pierced and outing most of her cleavage. She had put on a lot of make-up and her skin was glowing. I could smell alcohol on both of them and that made me confirm that they were coming out of the only disco in the mall.

Six days back, the women of the nation were boiling over Abhijit Mukherjee's sexist remarks. I saw many shouting the slogan - 'It is our right to dent and paint!' - continuously and do you need words to explain how Times Now can sensationalize this! I am not supporting the comments made by the President's son though.

Three days back a BJP MLA Banwari Lal Singh from Alwar, Rajasthan was on the news. Why? Because he had written to the State's Chief Secretary asking him to ban skirts from schools. All the girls came out to the streets protesting against him shouting that the MLA's mind is very narrow.

I read in the newspapers that cinema could be a reason why women suffer crimes like rape and sexual harassment. Some had written movies and advertisements portray a provocative image of women. But most of the actors straight away oppose this theory in a vehement tone. Some of the film makers had stated, TV and cinema are only entertainments and a person's character develops at home and not in a cinema hall. Yes, agreeable.

I am not being narrow minded. No. Not at all. Nor am I going to speak for the men. I eschew it. I accept, it is a person's right to dress however he/she wishes. You can show it all or cover it all. It is up to you. Some say rapes are happening because women show it all, which is a wrongful and flawed premise. Because in the history of the world, women who were covered head to toe had also been raped in numerous occasions. But then, asking men not even to behold is just not right. If it is rightful for a woman to dress up however she wishes, it is also rightful for a man to stare however he wishes. Don't get heated up. I am being open minded in your terms, don't you get it?

Do you think all men are weak, impotent and senile that they will close their eyes when they see beautiful girls walk half nude in a public place? They will stare. Yes, they will - you like it or not! Eye to eye and eye to everywhere!! Dont get me wrong, I still maintain I am against rape. A honest question. Why does he that stares wants to get physical at all, in the first place? No, he wont risk that! You know the truth. No, no. Not because of the protests and some strict laws that are going to come up. The truth is, he already has committed adultery in his heart with the girl he stares and is content with it. And you think you can stop rape from happening? If there are strict laws coming up, rapes will be done in the mind and gratification still achieved. Now you cant arrest them, can you? Men are always men and they will continue to be.

If you think the issue has to be addressed in a serious and realistic manner, you should stop playing the blame game. The mindset of the people, in entirety, has to change. Yes, it is wrong for a person to lustfully look at a woman who is not his wife. It is equally not so honourable for a girl to walk half nude in the streets. And it is doubly wrong for men to cite this as a reason and harass her or rape her. Instead of fighting against each other, everyone should try to be practical and understand what the issue really is. The society is losing all its values and morals in exponential deceleration. There is no holiness at all in the land. People should be taught to live a pure and upright life; only then will all these issues vanish like vampire dust.

Hang them all!

I switch ON my TV and all I see is a bunch of people shouting one against the other that men who rape women should be hanged straight away. Some demand public execution.  While I mourn the death of the 23-year old Delhi student and have to appreciate the Arab-like cause-and-consequence mentality which is seemingly spreading like wildfire taking hold of the nation, there are a few things that should be given serious thought.

There was a certain Shiney Ahuja who won Filmfare Best Debut Award in 2006, a bollywood celebrity of course. In 2009, this same Shiney raped his domestic help. They say court proceedings are ongoing, but clearly, as we all know, the matter has been decisively covered. I would urge you to take your placards asking the judiciary to hang this guy first.

A girl from Amethi was abducted and raped in 2011; and a former MLA of Samajwadi Party demanded investigation on Rahul Gandhi who was tipped to be one of the perpetrators. A political drama clearly and a criminal case was filed against Rahul. In late 2012, the Supreme Court dismissed the case citing the case was without substance and has hurt Rahul's reputation. In return, Rahul urged the Supreme Court to initiate criminal contempt proceedings against the accuser. But pity, there was no one to fight the victim's case.

Bollywood Star Salman Khan has half a dozen criminal cases pending against him. In 2002, the actor was drunk and he rammed his car into a bakery killing one and injuring four. Please overcome your tendency to overlook the words KILLING ONE. He 'killed' a very poor person sleeping on the pavement. Adding to this, the actor is lately charged with giving false information and producing false witnesses to delay proceedings against him. Heinous and barbaric. Why wouldn't anyone take this up, go on marches asking for him to be hanged?

Am I asking too much? If you cry out calling capital punishment for those heinous beasts who raped the 23 year old Delhi student, why wouldn't you also cry with that same zeal and vigour asking for Shiney Ahuja and Salman Khan to be hanged? Isn't this because those guys who raped the 23 year old were not rich and famous; and you can do to them anything you want, with some noise, candles and a long march? You can demand them to be hanged straight away and very lavishly cry even for public execution. But your actors, look at your beloved actors and you wouldn't dare utter a word against them and also wouldn't let those in duty do their job.

The poor committing a crime against the affluent and they should be killed. The affluent committing the same crime, or even bigger against the poor and the matter will be closed and the voice of the poor silenced. If the affluent class does not deserve capital punishment, why should the poor be hanged? What an evil attitude people possess! Where is love and equality in my country!! When will this divide vanish for good!!!