Thursday, January 24, 2013

Appa Amma

A couple that prays together stays together!
- Jim Cymbala


Mum and Dad. Happily married for more than 25 years. It would be clear exaggeration to call them the perfect couple. Because there is no such thing as 'perfect' except God. Nonetheless, I am definitive in saying, they are one of the most beautiful couples. Because only through imperfections, understanding each other well and forgiving, can beauty become rich in bearing. When beauty comes out colourful, we call it love. Like a bar of gold tested and purified by fire, time tests and proves love.

This quadranscentennial love saga was triggered by the divine and ever since this tale is on an eternal hip hop roll. There is only joy and much joy. The story started with my now-85-year-old Grandma. After her first daughter's arranged marriage failed, my Paati who was already widowed made it a point to depend only on God concerning the marriage of her second daughter. So she prayed all the time. One fine day, Paati had a vision from the Lord and God revealed the face of my dad.

The Pastors brought lot of connections as part of groom-search for my Mum who was amazingly beautiful in her 20s. But Paati said NO to all the photos shown until one day she identified the face that was revealed to her in a group photograph a Pastor brought. That face belonged to my Father. Arrangements were made and my Mum and Dad became Man and Wife on June 4, 1987. How beautiful is it to know from God that this woman/man is destined to be your wife/husband!

In all these years, I have not one memory of Amma and Appa fighting or arguing over a subject. I wouldn't say there was no occasion for not-so-pleasant things to have happened. Every family has its highs and lows. But when we go through those phases, how do we handle things? In highs, do we over-joy or feel unsatisfied? Or in lows, do we over-sorrow and blame?

Though Amma and Appa do not think alike all the time, they have never been self-centred. When you are so consumed by your own self, you will have ego, envy and anger against every person without reason. My parents sweetly and blindly follow one simple thing that awes me to date - 'I am living, not for me, but for you'. They have this high realization one toward the other. Only when a person stops living for himself/herself and starts living for the other, can he/she live a blessed and holy life.

Some psychologists say - too much love will lead to untoward complications in marriage. I am baffled how this premise never had the slightest of effects in my parents' marriage. I would boldly say - show love to your spouse without measure and with no reservation. Because love becomes full, only when you empty yourself into your spouse. Give her/him all the love in the world. Appa and Amma are both in their 50s now. Would you believe, at this age, they leave me and my brother back, and go for tours alone like just married couples would do? This is unheard of. I call this - honeymooning at fifty.


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