Post-Ceremonial Belongings!

She is sitting all decked up in her marital attire - all glowing, all shining. Dreams upon dreams. Fairy tales and fabulous fantasies. Her mind is in that lovely drizzle and there is sweetness dripping out from her liquid-jaggery of thoughts. She sees images. Less-than-three symbols everywhere, love birds pecking each others' beaks all the time, there are stars, candle lights, roses and one large bed. And ah, the moon. Yes, she beholds the crescent beauty of the moon - not knowing - that at the arrival of daylight and when the greater light rises in its majestic grandeur, the glowing lesser light that rules the night would soon hide itself in shame.

One day of ebullience. Momentary fascination. Price paid for ritual significance. Lights and crackers. Yes, those glittering CEREMONIES! Some intended to display pomposity, some are obvious fund-raisers, and there are some more that bear sadistic overtones to bore people to death just for the pleasure of it. However, few done with modest uprightness - though rare - could not be ruled out.

One might raise an emotional argument saying - ceremonies have primordial leanings. When caste and religion are tied to it, they seem to look like one frivolously important package of umbilical necessity. 'How important and relevant are they?', if you happen to ask someone - please expect no reasonable reply.

My intention is not to undermine celebration on the whole or ask you to wear the puritan mantle and become monks. No, do not get me wrong. Am I targeting festivals here? A swift nope to it - if your thoughts have those trailings. Festivals and ceremonies are not the same, though they both could have those seeming effervescent moments of joy in common. Because Diwali is a festival, but wedding is a ceremony. Christmas is celebrated round the world, but christening a baby is a family affair. The whole of Tamil Nadu bubbles with Pongal, but very few parents bother to call a sage home to conduct poojas.

Its perfectly fine to jump and shout, and to resound with songs of glory. Who has lived a humane life without having any fun! So, celebrate. Make merry. Share happiness. Spread smiles. Dance. Hug people. Exchange kisses. Pose for photographs. Do all of this in full vigor. Enjoy every moment to its fullest measure.

But where do we belong after the ceremony gets over and people pack for home? I have seen only happy weddings. But I cannot say with conviction that all the couples I have known are happily married. I have seen babies christened bearing names of great saints, but there is no assurance that they would grow up to become saintly in nature. I have seen poojas conducted at various houses but I also remember instances when the whole family split asunder in fights over property and other menial things - right after a pooja.

Time validates everything. We would need to wait to understand how our beings are placed (or misplaced) after the ceremonies. Do we instill the same spirit of happiness in our lives for real or do we act in front of the cameras - thinking a few photographs and some video clippings would make things appear real?

I would prefer register marriage (and take her home the way she is - with no adornment or other materials attached) to a grand wedding (having also shamelessly obtained dowry - by demanding or expecting). I would like a father holding his baby in his very own hands in prayer and naming the child in the Lord rather than making a big scene out of it in the church. I would like sons and daughters to come together, share a meal, sit and laugh - than to have a pooja and then build prejudices that create fissures. In the end what matters is how we have lived our lives, and not how others thought we lived our lives.