Beautiful!

I am a happy man leading a simple life. Or rather, deriving happiness out of simple things in life. I have always disliked complications, confusions, flamboyance and the related sophistications that blind our souls from seeing beauty the way it has to be seen! The definition of beauty also is so very simple. Beauty, to me, is the state of your sight.

She is in her early twenties. An orchestra singer, dark skinned. Sings wherever she gets a chance, to feed her family. She has a bedridden father, a mother who is a part time maid. Hmm nope, not really a maid. But a dishwasher who goes to the upper-middle class households in the street whenever there is struggle for food at home. So I happen to sit next to her mother who also accompanies her daughter to wherever she goes to perform in the night. Because in India it is really dangerous to send a girl out at nights. We talked. Her mother and I. When her mother, with tears, shared the heart-rending story of how the girl strives hard to take care of her father, I instantly found her very beautiful.

The other day I went to see the boy child of this couple I know for long. This little child was adopted because they had no children after 10 years of their marriage. But it so happened that the adopted baby boy, when he grew up to be a one year old kid, was found to be deformed. Against the advices of their ill-minded relatives who forced them to return the child back to the adoption agency, they chose to not let go of the child, but decided to have him with them and take care of his medical needs. They proudly call him, son. I found the couple beautiful and the little one, now a two-year old, so very beautiful.

These two women clothed in white, who were both over 50, were walking without footwear. We were coming back from the hospital and I asked my dad to stop the car. Because I saw one of them struggling to walk. I put my head out and ask the other aunty, do you need help? The one who is in struggle replies in some language that sounded like Hindi. The other one translates in English telling, 'we are coming from Haryana. This is a padh yatra that we had both vowed, we cannot get in the car, we have to walk till we reach Kanyakumari. There are so many like us walking in the front and coming behind.' I was truly truly shocked. What? From Haryana to Kanyakumari. Walking?! I first thought it was insane. Gave them our first aid kit so they could clean the wounds on their feet. Then I saw their faces, they were filled with happiness and I really liked the audacity these women had in their faith to complete their vow. And they appeared beautiful in my eyes.

So yes, I was in hospital. Few days. Tests after tests. But I became a popular patient because of my fear for syringes. And I had to give blood all the time. Oh my god. My dad and mum, both should come and hold me, so they could forcibly take blood from me. I initially disliked this nurse who used to joke about me getting scared for this. But then we became good friends eventually. She is married to a chronic drunkard, has two little kids, talks about her household chores to my mum and I have no other option but to listen to two women talking. I started liking her because she was very genuine and couldn't hide her emotions. The final day in that hospital, mum gifts her a saree and she cries with gratitude. Those were real tears. Then she smiles, comes to me and teases me more with the syringes, and I shout akkaaa. She was indeed beautiful.

Though I am a happy individual, I have my fair share of weaknesses. Yes, I have no shame in admitting that I am a weak vessel. New vulnerabilities sprout every now and then. And I continuously strive hard to overcome them. I might smile on the outside but have this brokenness inside me that only I am privy to. I pray to God that all my shortcomings are soon turned to strengths. I am sure God will listen to my prayers. If not today, maybe tomorrow. Or maybe some other day. I shall wait. Because when that day comes, I shall appear beautiful too from the inside. What are we, but meek men and women trying to be of help to each other so smiles could be spread.